Saturday, November 26, 2011

Born a Woman - Curse or Boon?

Incident 1: She used to take the same route daily as that was the only road that led to her home. He, along with his gang, would be at the same place as always, waiting for her to pass. His stare caused her so much discomfort which only a woman could understand. The nasty comments lowered her confidence but she din't know whom she should discuss this with. She was too scared to show them what she feels as an unknown fear haunted her...

Incident 2: He used to come regularly to her home as he was quite close to her family. She called him uncle & jumped on his lap whenever he came. He always used to get her Chocolates, toys etc which she obviously loved. She never knew the real intentions behind his friendly gesture as she was an innocent child. Her parents never noticed too as they thought he's just being friendly. He would touch her at wrong places, kiss her unnecessarily. As she grew up she became aware of her own body & the discomfort in a man touching her. She began keeping a fair distance from him. She never discussed these things with her parents as she din't know how she would be received.

Every woman in this world must have been through similar incidents atleast once in her lifetime. The feeling of helplessness, fear, anger & unsure-ness of how she will be received if she discuses this with a loved one stops a woman from seeking help.  In this male-dominant society (yes it is still male-dominant), a woman is held responsible if she is eve-teased. Some maniac politician (can't recollect his name) claimed that a woman who is covered has less risk of being attacked than a woman whose skimpily dressed. I had like to disagree with his statement as if that was the case, any women whose "decently" dressed wouldn't be ever eve-teased or raped.

It is hardly possible for a man to understand how a woman feels when she is eve-teased or sexually abused. Be it school, work place, tuition or even her own home, she is always at the risk of being sexually abused. And it's not always strangers but she's also attacked by men/boys whom she trusts.

She is the one whose bordered with rules & regulations all throughout her life. She's the one looked down when a man molests her. Why her? Ain't regulations supposed to be for men as well? A lot of times a woman is asked to keep mum if she's raped. The family feels that if things are revealed to the society, she can never be married. Will these things ever change?

With our law being so weak, these bastards get away quite easily. Education plays a vital role in making sure our girls are safe. A girl should be taught to report any suspicious acts in and around her for her own security. She should report to her parents if any stranger or friends/family member touches her at inappropriate places. Child abuse should never be hidden as in future things can become fatal.  She should intimate her parents about nasty comments passed at her by a road side romeo. She should also be taught to raise her voice against such men so to let them them she isn't a sissy and she can stand up for herself when the need arises.

Martial Arts, Self defense training should be a compulsory subject in out not so great education system. Instead of feeling helpless when a man attacks, a woman should be able to fight back to protect her self esteem. There's no point in being a damsel-in-distress as no super hero would come to the rescue when the need arises.

Fight Back!


  1. Society sends out subtle messages that empower those who feel that women are nothing more than objects of gratification, against whom all crimes are pardonable. Parents need to not discriminate between the girl and the boy. Media needs to stop objectifying women as sex objects. Women need to stop accepting all forms of abuse. Boys need to be taught from a young age to respect women as equals. Films need to be made that has female protagonists.

    The tragedy is that even in the west, womens liberation has led ultimately to the freedom of women to portray themselves as objects of desire. Of course, lot of good has also come.

    Women need to stop using the "weaker sex" tag. A lot needs to happen for this situation to change. Education, and not aggression or punishment, has to be the way forward. We as a society have to rewrite the scripts based on which we live our lives in man-woman relationships.

    Thanks for a powerful and thought provoking post.

  2. Yes I too agree that though we believe that now there's no difference between male and a female, but the world has not changed for a female. Men still are taking advantage of them being more powerful (it's a biological fact). And our silence is making things worst. We should always fight back and protect ourselves plus other girls. Thanks for coming up with this post.

  3. @Subhorup: I so agree with you! Unless the steps mentioned by you are taken, women will be prone to such abuse.

    Thanks a ton for visiting my blog :)

  4. @Sneha: True. Since we are physically not as strong as women, a self defense training could be handy.

  5. yes there is lot to do to change the perspective of society towards women.....but life is difficult for both the sexes it the way you look things up....grass is always greener on the other side you know.
    and yes i am totally up for that self defence thing.

  6. @A Guilty Conscience: Yes, it's certainly difficult for both sexes.

  7. A well written post and highlights the single biggest curse of exploitation of weaker sex! It is the right values which unfortunately not imparted early in life, besides so many socioeconomic factors..

  8. @Rahul Bhatia: Thanks Rahul! True! I agree that imparting values could be another solution.

  9. Very true. it depicts the plight of women in our country. I don't remember who said so, "The day a woman walks alone, without fear at 12 in the night, is the day when we truly have achieved our independence"

  10. that is the king of society we have build...and unless women fight back it ain't gonna change...

    nice read :)

  11. "Do you know what would be the best way to wipe out all of humankind if you were a space alien with a special mind-ray? Make all women telepathic. Cos' if they suddenly found out about the kind of stuff that goes on in our heads they'd kill us all on the spot. Men are not people! We are disgustoids in human form."
    — Rogue Mage - MST3k

    "To put it simply: men are neither supposed nor allowed to be dependent. They are expected to take care of others and themselves. And when they cannot or will not do it, then the assumption at the heart of the culture is that they are somehow less than men and therefore unworthy of help. An irony asserts itself: by being in need of help, men forfeit the right to it."
    — The Jobless dude

  12. I hate the fact about women that they don't fight back. Many do, but not all. And it's not just a physical (or verbal)fight, it's a mental one.
    The people who eve tease rape or molest are IDIOTS.
    They suck.
    And it's always nice to see someone working towards creating a new dawn...together.


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